My running life has evolved over the last year and a half. What started as striving for personal fitness (for the sake of this metaphor, learning to swim), went to striving to grow in the 'corporate pond', on next to trying to be the biggest fish in that pond, on next to striving to compete in the 'local lake' and even dreams of making a tiny ripple in an even larger body of water.
I've recently joined a running website where some of the faster local runners post there workout logs, converse, plan group runs and talk about running. A lot of these folks are the bigger fish in that 'local lake'. I've joined them on some group runs, I've joined in conversations about running and I've shared my daily workouts and goals. Some who know me well might even say I've become obsessed with/addicted to the site. I have been striving to swim in their lake and to be one of them.
What I easily loose in that pursuit of swimming with the fish is: perspective. I don't run for anyone other than myself. I need to write that down somewhere and read it often. I don't get paid to run. I'm not running for a cause. I'm running because I enjoy it and I have some natural talent at it.
Being injured and sitting out a race this weekend is NOT a big deal. It should not effect my mood. My family should not be able to tell a difference in me. But, it did. And the crappy thing is, that it was for the wrong reasons. It would have been ok if I was so looking forward to running in crappy weather on a sloppy trail for a race. Or if that race really meant something to my current goal of getting my BQ. But I wasn't and it didn't. It bothered me because I missed out on the opportunity to impress others; to be one of the fish. And I sat around reading race reports and Facebook updates all day Saturday feeling sorry for myself. How stupid is that?
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